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  • Writer's pictureCaylie Poola

I Have No Idea What I'm Doing (but does anyone?)

As I sit here, 20 years old and halfway done with my junior year of college, I realize that with age, it doesn't really get any easier. As you may assume, my problems have changed. I no longer stress about getting the perfect homecoming dress or prom date. Now, I get to worry about my resume, my activity in clubs and organizations, keeping up with good grades, trying to avoid getting COVID on a college campus and a dose of extra strength Tylenol more.

Being home for the holidays is comforting, but alarming. It's a Saturday night and I actually dropped in on my parents dinner while they had dinner at a friends house. I. then went home and had leftovers while binge watching Gilmore Girls for the second time.

Is this 20? It can't be. (I ask myself often).

Lorelai Gilmore Gifs? Say less.

The constant feeling that somehow at 16 with a drivers permit I probably had more exciting plans. And the thing is, and trust me, it took me a while to accept this...but Instagram is lying to us. No one, and I mean no one, is feeling 100% normal and embarking on their daily life, travels and social plans like they used to. (Even if they personally disregard social distancing). My friends and I all agree that a little too often Friday feels just the same as a Wednesday. And the constant pressure of feeling like you need to be doing something or you are wasting your life away is honestly a scam.

So, here are a few things I have learned so far in the past few months. An early chapter in my life I like to call: "Becoming an Adult (but seriously)"

  • No one really understands Linkedin at first. Just make one and go from there.

  • Writing a good cover letter doesn't just come naturally. Ask a mentor, make multiple drafts, research the company & never use the same cover letter more then once. (Like a good dress they should be altered to fit perfectly)

  • No one loves to turn the camera on during a zoom class, probably not even the professor sometimes. Turn it on anyway.

  • Be empathetic.

  • Just because you are young and not considered to be at risk for COVID, doesn't mean you should stop wearing a mask & social distancing.

  • Reading books for fun is actually fun. And rewarding.

  • Not everyone is in a relationship, log off Tik Tok.

  • Drink water (a lot).

  • You don't always have to be doing more. Pause.

  • Don't compare your work load & goals to others. Everyone is different and handles their responsibilities in their own way.

  • Unfollow people on social media & in real life (not fun, but sometimes necessary).

  • Act like you are capable of doing it, and watch yourself actually do it.

  • Never feel guilty for dedicating some of your time into self - care.

  • Everyone is busy, it's really not that personal. Maintaining healthy friendships is hard work but worth it. It's ok to not keep in touch with everyone.

  • No one is having the time of their lives - all the time.

  • Things will fall together (be patient)

2020 is weird.

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